EXPOSED

i'm starting to think i could actually be quite good at designing things. i've been reworking this vintage dress from fashionista and i picked up a few fixings at joann's the other day including a black zipper and some jet black beads.

it's going to be so sick when i'm done with it. fuck i'm excited.

i shouldve taken before and after photos but i'm not that on top of things and come to think of it, camera'less...

also. HELLO MY NONEXISTENT READERSHIP.

hmmm.

i kind of like the silence.

project funway

last night a very good friend of mine came over and we

watched the first harry potter movie while
eating freshly baked sugar cookies and
played with river while
working on our various DIY projects which for
her, was rehemming a gorgeous linen and thermal dress with the most beautiful spanish eyelet on the neckline, and for
me, was beading my newly dyed denim and lace vest.

it was a saturday night, we are 20 and 21 respectively and well, i loved it.

my inner child is 6, but my inner adult is 60...

river mato alvarez-takes the gun-winter

so the three of us wound up getting a kitten...

i'm not convinced that this isn't the worst idea ever given our lifestyle but considering how happily i gave up my friends' birthday last night to stay in and watch river on his first night here, i think this might be easier than i thought.

his name comes from two things. mato was his birth name; it means bear. all of us were joking around about how we wanted to name him different things. steve's was gandalf, brooke was fine with mato, and well, i wanted river.

gandalf lost out entirely. but the littlest member of apt 6 is river bear! how cute is that?

he's a grey tabby, with little black markings on his face like a tiger'ish. i'm totally in love. i slept on the couch so i could keep an eye on him and he wound up curling up on the pillow next to me. by the time i woke up, he had cuddled into my neck. when he saw that i was awake he started licking me all over and nuzzling me. i think its safe to say we're officially bonded.

played with him quite a bit this morning and now he's tuckered out again. kittens sleep 16 hours a day apparently... my kind of pet :)

here's my little baby

anticlimatic addiction

i looked at my bank account this morning.

uh.

whoops.

over the next few weeks i shall enjoy packages from the following stores:

agent provocateur
american apparel
american eagle
asos
ebay
forever 21
myla
urban outfitters
&
victoria's secret

teehee? fuck. i'm finally doing laundry right now and then i'm going to weed out what i don't wear anymore see if the roommate wants any of it. i had to run to the convenience store down the street to get change for the laundromat downstairs... got us some chicken noodle soup and cream of broccoli soup while i was at it. man behind the counter siiighed at me when i asked very politely for ahem, three dollars in quarters please if it's not any trouble?

anyways, the remainder will go to salvo where i will probably buy more vintage dresses.

hello my name is ashley and i have a problem.

he reads about finance

that's not me.

it's nice getting to listen to them talk about their boys. how old they can be at times, how they fall asleep expectedly at the most inopportune moments. how they let them fall asleep only to wake them up with their arguments, arguments not remembered in the morning.

i'm at the weirdest point right now. i find that i'm not really interested in anyone they way i once was in him. i lapse into ex-mode and flail around and now i'm done with that and i'm just wearing jeans and flannel and smoking. i wake up regularly at eleven. i eat cereal for most meals and think.

what're you doing? and another calls me and it would be fun and it would be hot and all that and whatnot and whatever and i just don't feel like showering and wow lady gaga is playing right now lovegame and it asks do you want love do you want fame are you in the game?

and i don't really think that i am. i miss the way you call me baby.

fuck.

digitalism

first, not the song of pogo.

everyone in this room is on some sort of device. the combinations are as follows... ipod cell, chips cell, irish cream cell, laptop cell. no one is without their phone. returns from france, the air smells like strawberry and herbs, a camera has appeared and i'm eating nacho cheese doritos.

they are like pizza gods in my hands. i am wearing a foot tshirt. i never went to foot. i went to fpc instead. and slept all the time in my sleeping bag while felix introduced my back. mother made me break the fences in halves upon the flat of knee. 4 x 6 s everywhere in the dirt with my tomato plants. those were ghosts by then...

and now more appear. and paper burns.

twelve days later!

sort of? i dunno. i'm bad at math. in any case... i have a job now, it's with the alzheimers research unit punching names and numbers into an excel spreadsheet on my laptop in the office kitchen. glamorous, no? but it pays the bills i incur without a doubt on a regular basis. things add up. just bought a black frye leather backpack after scouring the web endlessly for one last alexander wang one to no avail.

right now i'm sitting in my usual chair, hanging out with some friends, waiting for bttg's guy to get here and deliver. we've been waiting for about five and a half hours... shit better be good. merrr.

oh. lost 10 lbs last week. 30 more to go. fun.

battling unemployment

is done best with active job hunts which lead to job interviews. however when setting those interviews up it might be best to answer the phone sober in the morning and not hungover. that way when you're getting ready to go out the door, you know where you're headed...

that's right. i have an interview in 30 minutes. i know the address but what job this is for i just have no friggin' clue. good grief.

still lounging

right now im sitting in one of those disc chair things they sell from urban outfitters wondering whether or not i should spend as much as im planning on spending the moment i get reimbursed for rent...

i get into these moods sometimes where all i want to do is blow a grand on shoes and clothes and wine and maybe a few booked flights going exotic places like bermuda. i almost booked a flight there once, without thinking about accomodations or passports.

in the end i didn't. i have a lot of stories like that i've realized. this one time i almost. but i didn't. most of the time i think that's for the better but every once in a while i'd like to say and i did.

lounging

sometimes it's good to just lounge. we're just motionless on the couches, drinking a second bottle. chardonnay. there are three minis of nailpolish on the table, burgundy clear and lavender. i can see my camel no. 9s there, an ashtray littered with stubs. my cell phone is blinking every ten minutes. the cheese is gone, the crackers are gone, and i've eaten all the salami.

mmm. the air smells like jasmine. and sandalwood.

away we go

i feel like something needs to be said for why i'm doing this again, but the thing is i'm not quite sure even i understand the impetus for scrapping my old blog and completely starting over. it's not a particularly new year's eve'ish sort of time for me; summer generally doesn't feel like the start of anything, nevermind the restart. i could digress all too easily into an obnoxiously self-important ramble about silly things like my feelings but i won't.

i have an apartment for the summer, i'm sharing it with two friends, and tonight i'm making steak.